Reviews

Solar Panic: Utter Distress

Solar Panic: Utter Distress is a first-person comedy adventure game from developers Barracuda Disaster. As they say, in Solar Panic you follow a true story that they made up, in which you explore exotic locations full of stupid and funny encounters. &̶̻̈́T̶̘͊D̴̙͊”̵̜̾$̶̗̓&̴̹͆4̸̬͒f̷̫̃g̸̩͛ḭ̶̓Ẻ̴͙5̶͚̓V̴̦̀&̸̳̋q̴̱̈j̷͉̄4̷͇͝V̵͕͆/̶͎̽c̶̺̈/̵́͜)̶̥̉K̶͉̈f̸̰̈R̵̼͑v̸͔̿l̴͖̈́Į̷͘3̵̱̅v̵̞̍R̵̝̓w̷̖͒(̶̫̀j̵̖͊P̶̧͐y̷̭̓k̷̮̐ŕ̶̰Ź̵̮ẉ̴̄=̵̤͝Q̶̟͠F̸̣̀Y̶͎͌3̷̗͘L̶͚͒=̵̣̇7̷̙̈́Ś̸̳4̴͉͠ The game was released via Steam on the 28th of January this year.

In Solar Panic you take on a role of Durwood Champney, who is, as Barracuda Disaster put it, a sarcastic douche with a vendetta for early morning traffic. He is a hungover former special agent, like James Bond, but without the coolness and classiness. ǹ̷͇ḡ̴̘j̶̨̇2̶͚̊R̸̦̔B̶͕̆R̸̢͠W̸͍̾u̴̇͜e̷̺̅p̶̻̂s̷̡̛x̶̬̎6̵̝͠H̶̲̆ẻ̷͎N̶̠̈́L̴̪̈́g̸͙̕B̵̼͌M̶͇̓6̴̣̅)̵͔̏v̶̟̽G̶̦͒k̷̘̎R̷̪̎5̵͍̈K̵̻̚ȏ̴͚r̵̹̂6̶̩̐g̷̢̓ả̶͈L̷̼̀ŵ̷̼g̷̬̏%̵̮̃n̵̨̉(̵̺̌)̷̽ͅQ̶̞̋3̸͇̏R̶̥̆ŷ̷̳/̴͈̾!̶̺̓$̸͇̋7̶̲͐l̸̞͛ You wield different gadgets and guns, and meet socially awkward characters in their mysterious occurrences.

Solar Panic: Utter Distress offers a short (around a few hours) creative experience full of jokes and an entertaining story. O̶̖͛y̷͇͐T̸̟̊M̴̟̌$̸̗̊Ã̸̳9̷̨̀ì̸ͅb̵̜̀9̵̗̏b̴̤̊s̵̪͆ḳ̶̓5̵̯̀Ķ̷͒h̸̖̒!̸͉̽&̶̳͘2̸͙̄!̴̫̅u̷̪̕P̴͚̊(̴̭̊P̸̢̀z̴̦̈́ď̶̨p̸͙͋r̸͉̉Z̵̡̿ẗ̶́ͅQ̸͓̆$̸͈͒p̸̲̑8̷͎͋0̴̯̍1̷͖̍g̷͍̒X̶͎͊g̸̰̕s̸̟͘/̷̬̈́K̴̺̈́W̷̖̆Q̵͙͝z̸̡͛X̵̧̏ċ̴̡6̷͐͜H̵̛ͅŃ̵̩ This review might also be short, and most of the words might be taken from the game’s Steam page, but a picture is worth a thousand words, so you have a few thousand of them in the screenshots below. Enjoy!

The in-game options only offer to set the volume of music, effects, and dialogues, plus they show the control keys’ schematics, which are sadly not rebindable. ῁̴͎0̸̤̃#̵̛̗J̶͇̀l̷͕͋H̷̳̔l̶͔̚ì̷̲9̴͉̆H̴͉̐m̸̲͐Ẍ̶͇0̴̗̈0̷̜̚F̶͓̆b̷͓̀#̶̣̈́q̵̜̅(̸͓̐q̷͎͠2̶̲̃y̵͔͝t̴̰̎g̸͙͠X̸͖́z̴̡̅/̵̘͋s̵̟̔1̷̮̓t̴̙͂c̶͔̾P̵̹̿e̴̝͝u̸̦̔H̵̩̀x̵̢͌t̷͍͑9̶̼̆l̴̖̓a̵͙͂R̷͎̓R̷̖͆J̸̭̽0̸̪͋a̵̳͋o̷͈̾q̶̣̏W̵̝̍x̵̜̑b̴̫́ As far as mature content goes, it contains cartoon violence events with guns, and events in which there is the usage of alcohol. You encounter naked cartoon characters without their pants-s-s. Nothing too serious, but beware before you buy it for your 5-year-old nephew.

Solar Panic: Utter Distress is “recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists” and 1 out of 1 Glitched Reviews reviewers. Its 15€ price might seem a bit high for a game like this, but you can replay it anytime you are in the need to brighten up your mood. ṇ̶͒%̷̤̓%̷̳̀S̵̡̑¨̸̢̅k̵̳̃$̴̺́!̵̯̐Q̸̧̑c̴̢̿Ǵ̶̪a̴̺͋F̵̡̃Ȩ̴̄ó̵̫k̷̢̉!̸͍̆X̶̰͆Ḩ̶̎K̸̥͗J̸͚̿g̵̜̒#̴̝͗B̷̮̏f̷͔̕G̶̙̍N̶͕̕4̶̥͋y̶̗͘I̶̯̎b̵͔͝l̷͈͐Q̵̭͆D̷̋͜T̶̟̿c̶̭͗b̸͈̓Ṱ̶̕ḧ̶̺́I̷͎͠R̵̖̾O̸̝͛K̸͇̽ṱ̷̆/̷͎̽3̸̺̍i̴̹͆Ź̴̭*̴̜̃V̸̱̉ 10/10! Well, not exactly, but I can definitely recommend it, especially if you are on the weirdo spectrum like myself.

T̶͎̲̪͚͚̒̿̌̈́͘h̵̥͋̍̈́̇͆̾̕ȁ̴̡̲̯̯̽̑t̶̢̻̬̳͐̈̿̎̿́ ̷̧͙̬͝į̵̡̩̦̯͍̀̆̉̀̐s̵̗͚̑̊͋ ̷̱͔̂̊͜ͅg̶̗̖̟͛͊̀͘͜ͅo̵̹͖̔ị̵͉̭̒͌͠n̷̨̈́̌ͅg̷̡̐̓̋́̏̔ ̷̲̟̑̽̑̈͆̓t̵͚̣̩̬͒ö̷̠͕̙́̆̋͌ ̸͍̼͋ḇ̷̓̓́́̽e̵̗͂́̓ ̴̨͕͇̍̉̂e̴̜̲̣̯͑̑ͅn̸̬̍ọ̵̫̗͆̐̚u̸̧̥̪͍̦̥̺͒͆͌͗̾̽͝ĝ̶̘̍̓̎̈́͘͠h̵͖̽̑̓.̷̩̹̥̙̪͕̔͊́͘͝